NEW CASTLE —
I have been taught that it is not good to hate.
For this reason, I have narrowed the list of things I hate down to just one. I do have several things on my “dislikes list,” though.
I dislike the aluminum safety seal they put on the top of my International Delight coffee creamer.
I've tried everything and I just can't peel it off. I always end up poking a hole in the top with my spoon.
The company needs to work on that problem.
Most of you will join me in my next dislike, which is tramping in doggy doo doo.
Those little puppies look so cute when you get them.
I just wish they would come with a warning on their collar. A simple, "This dog poops," might make someone think twice before taking it home.
Another dislike I have, along with my neighbors, is when I carry something heavy to the car. More than once, my pants have fallen down while carrying it.
At least I haven't been arrested for it yet.
So, what is the one thing that I really, really hate?
Yes, it's the worst tasting thing that was ever put on this planet — coconut.
I don't think there is anything worse than taking a bite of chocolate candy, thinking it is a vanilla cream, and finding out it is coconut.
Many times I've spit it out, and tried to wash my mouth out with something that tastes better, like gasoline or cow urine.
I have always hated coconuts.
Oh, how I remember as a young lad when my mother would buy my dad those Hostess Coconut Cakes for his lunch.
The chocolate cupcakes were right beside them. Why couldn't she get them instead? I would have liked to eat one of those myself.
No fear of that with the crappy coconut things.
You would think with all the blights going around, coconut trees would get one of them, but they don't.
A lot of people make their living from growing and selling coconuts. Perhaps the government could just retrain them, if all the trees died.
How nice it would be if you didn't have to go through life living in fear, whenever you looked at a piece of pie.
A person could get ulcers fretting about whether it is banana cream or coconut cream.
If I would ever get elected to Congress I would enact a law stipulating that each piece of coconut cream pie should have a 3-foot neon sign, telling everyone what it is.
It has taken a lot of work, on my part, to narrow my list of hates down to just one.
I had to come clean and move celery over to the dislike list.
That was tough.
Gary Church
Related Photos
-
About Gary Church: Gary is a columnist and contributing writer for The News. He’ll share his thoughts on this blog each Tuesday and Friday.
Discussion
Gary Church: Coconut? Really? Don’t even get me started!
- Gary Church
-
-
Gary Church: Dang! I missed out on meeting Pat Toomey — whoever that is
Sometimes I say "Yes" to something before I think about it. I received a call from The News office, wanting me to take photos of Pat Toomey's visit to the county courthouse. Very eager to do so, I said, "Yes!"
-
Gary Church: A REAL buffet for Father’s Day? Now that’s saying a mouthful!
My favorite thing about Mother’s Day is the buffet. I can do some real damage with a nice spread of food laid out before me. A good, homemade buffet can't be beat.
-
Gary Church: A little trimmer is just the right fit for someone my age
There are definite signs in my life that show I'm really starting to age. I can't believe that I just bought a battery powered trimmer/edger. The gas trimmer I have now is 25 years old and very powerful.
-
Gary Church: Gary the Governor? It’s starting to grow on me
Every day, while walking home from West Side School, I would pass the fire station on Smithfield Street. Twice a year, the fire station turned into the election place, where my parents voted.
-
Gary Church: A Facebook friend request and the new ‘normal’
I recently received a friend request on Facebook from a woman named Robin. I wasn’t familiar with this person. Being a little skeptical, I wrote back and wanted to know why she picked me, when she didn't know me.
-
Gary Church: Neighbor’s ‘gift’ keeps on giving ... me fits!
When my neighbor Mike moved to Texas, I inherited a few of his things he didn't have room for. One of them was a very heavy cement bird bath.
-
Gary Church: It’s spring, so it’s time to come clean on all my junk
Last Monday started off normal. I shaved, showered, and shampooed as usual. We had breakfast and read the paper as we normally do.
-
Gary Church: Difficulty with Mexican food? Runs in the jeans ... er, genes
When we go to Sharon, I enjoy having lunch at Nikos and Lou's Coney Island. My wife finally put her foot down, and wanted to eat somewhere else for a change. She suggested Chipotle Mexican Grill.
-
Gary Church: What am I writing about today? I really don't know — really
I was surprised to read in a doctor’s column that the statin drugs I'm taking may cause memory loss. It's nice to know that it's not my fault that I can't remember things anymore. But it is getting a little scary.
-
Gary Church: Blindfolded taste-testers? Ha, what a bunch of weenies!
New Castle people are sure passionate about their hot dogs. If you ever want to get comments on your Facebook page, just bring up that subject.
- More Gary Church Headlines
-
