New Castle News

Gary Church

February 28, 2012

Gary Church: You want me to do WHAT? What have you been smokin’?

NEW CASTLE — There comes a time when one must realize he is no longer a "babe magnet."

I became aware of this about 50 years ago.

The following incident that happened to me took about 20 seconds, but I won't soon forget it.

I was dining with my wife and grandson at a downtown restaurant. When it came time to leave, they decided to use the restroom.

I proceeded to the car.

As I got to the restaurant door a women said "Hi" to me.

Since my photo is in the paper once a week, it is not unusual for this to happen.

Being the suave, relational guy that I am, I said "Hi" back.

She then asked me, "Which way are you going?"

I told her, "North."

Then she hit me with, "Oh good! "Could you drop me off at my mother’s?"

I can't say I have ever had a strange women ever want to get in the car with me. They usually run the other way.

Since I didn't want to give a complete stranger a ride, I replied, "No, I'm with my wife and grandchild."

After getting in my car I started to think. Did she really need a ride, or is she one of the local businesswomen I have read about in the paper?

I have been here 67 years and this would have been my first encounter with a real live hooker.

While sitting in the car, I watched to see if she asked anyone else for a ride.

All that came out were families, and she never said a word.

When my wife came out, she never asked her for a ride.

I thought, "Either I still ‘got it,’ or she was desperate for some money to purchase some wacky weed.”

After going home and taking a good look at myself in the mirror, I came to a conclusion.

This women must have really, really, been in need of some wacky weed, whatever that is.


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Gary Church
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