New Castle News

February 21, 2014

Gary Church: I stuck my neck out to surprise my wife — but she didn’t get the whole scarf thing

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — There are no words to describe how much I hate to shop for my wife.

When Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, her birthday, and Christmas come along, she enjoys getting nice prizes from yours truly.

It's not that I mind spending the big bucks. It's the "I don't know what to buy her" thing.

After 40 years of getting her flowers and candy for Valentine’s Day, I ventured out to new worlds to make her day special.

Bunney’s Card Shop is my usual stop for a card.

Like any good entrepreneur, they have added a few gifts to go along with the cards.

I bought the card, and started looking at the ladies accessories that she might enjoy.

I'm not famous, but I do get recognized from time to time from the garden column I write.

The clerk asked, "Are you Gary Church?"

After confirming her question, I became a marked man in the strange world of a ladies boutique.

Since my wife has been wearing a scarf on these cold winter days, I decided to get her another one.

The clerks thought the one I picked was gorgeous. It was blue with some decorative metals on it.

They went out of their way to wrap it in one of those gift bags, and assured me I had made the right choice.

I couldn't wait to give the lovely prize to my wonderful bride of 39 years.

When she opened it, her first question was, "What is this?"

This made me crack up laughing, and she joined in for the next five minutes.

I think she thought it was some kind of mid-evil drape, with body slashing metal attached to it.

I explained it was a scarf.

She asked, "How do you wear it?"

While watching her get all tangled up in this scarf with metals of mass distruction on it, I started laughing again.

I don't think she's ready for the new, modern styles of scarfs.

When Sunday came, I could not wait to see the scarf on her.

That didn't happen.

I haven't seen it since she took it out of the bag.

I don't think we have a dungeon, but if we did, that's probably where it would be hanging.

My next outing will be in June for our anniversary.

I'll probably go back to my standard flowers and candy.

At least she will recognize what they are.