New Castle News

Gary Church

November 27, 2012

Gary Church: Until I get a handle on home repairs, a little duct tape will do

NEW CASTLE — I guess I should be satisfied with having a sense of humor, because I certainly am not a Mr. Fix-it.

When I was in school, they gave tests on how you would put something mechanical together.

I always failed.

Things that should be simple become major projects when I attempt them.

Let's take the bathroom door knob, for example.

Since the door was looking a little shabby, I decided to paint it to match the new color.

I thought that if I remove a couple of screws, I can remove the door knob, and not have to paint around it.

For some unknown reason, this door knob was different. The guy that invented it had to be a practical joker.

Instead of removing a simple screw that holds the handle on, it has some kind of slot.

After realizing there was no other possible way of getting the handle off, I pushed down on the slot thingy, and the handle came off.

When I was done painting the door, it was time to put the handle back on.

I did that, sort of.

When I tried to open the door from the inside, I pulled, and the handle came off. I almost fell on my butt.

I worked on it a little more, and finally made the announcement, "Use extreme caution when opening the bathroom door!"

No matter how many warnings you get, when you are in the habit of doing something, you forget.

The next time I tried it, I almost went through the bathroom wall.

To show that those mechanical tests I failed in school didn't mean anything, I figured out a solution.

I guess way back in those days they didn't have duct tape.

A few pieces holds the handle on fine, at least until I get a new one, with a screw.



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Gary Church
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