New Castle News

Gary Church

June 17, 2014

Gary Church: Want a window into my world? It’s shear madness

NEW CASTLE — It's not big news that men and women think differently.

While doing some research on how plants affect people, I can explain to you why.

My research says that our early ancestors liked to live on the edge of a forest, overlooking a meadow.

The reason they say is, the males could see clearly if any danger was approaching, and they could shimmy up a tree for protection.

They also preferred living by a stream so they had a good source of water.

Women on the other hand, liked more protection, and were more relaxed within a shelter.

This could explain why men like to be on the golf course, while women prefer the laundry room.

In my recent experience, this explains why my wife and I are in a deep debate over shears on the windows.

She feels the need for protection, while I want to watch to see if the Fuller Brush salesman is coming up the sidewalk.

I have won round one (although it may be a temporary win), and for the first time in 25 years, there are no shears on our new windows.

I can now tell if it is raining outside, or if my neighbor’s house is on fire.

The hanging did not go without a few intense conversations between my wife and me.

Should she ever decide on new drapes, she will have to hire a hardware installer, because I'm never doing it again.

As far as I'm concerned, the drapes we have now, will be the same drapes we'll have when the coroner comes to get me.

I hope he likes them.


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Gary Church
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