New Castle News

Gary Church

May 19, 2014

Gary Church: I can see clearly now — I don’t do windows

NEW CASTLE — If you want to spend an afternoon of pure misery, invite a window salesman over.

I have fought off window telemarketers for years.

Vivian was different. I liked her.

I told her it was OK to send the salesman over, just to get an idea how much new windows would cost.

The gentleman arrived on time, which was 1:30. It was after 4 p.m., and he hadn't left yet.

My wife missed watching the “Barefoot Contessa,” thank goodness.

I was mostly interested in the tilt window feature, so my wife could clean them without me getting involved.

I guess just giving the customer the price of the job is no longer in fashion.

First, I had to hear why others who had advertised a price of $199 a window wasn't really the total price.

By the time you add glass to the windows, get the old ones hauled away, and add some kind of stuff around the windows so you never have to paint them again, the price was a lot more than $199.

I didn't mind that part of the speech, or the video he showed of happy customers. Itwas the test he kept giving us.

After writing everything down, he asked, "How much do you think, after giving you a free door, and adding all of these extras in, would you think the job was worth.

When I said $1,000, he thought I was joking.

I wasn't.

He would not give me the total price.

Finally, he asked, "If I could do all of this for less than $10,000, would you give me the OK to do it?"

After getting the oxygen back into my lungs again, I said "No."

He again asked about the $10,000 thing.

I finally told him anywhere around $10,000 was totally out of the picture. I'm sticking with my $1,000 price.

After pleading with him to please give me the price before I agreed to it, he finally did.

I guess you are supposed to say yes before you find out the exact price.

After hearing the total amount, I finally agreed to have three windows done.

Then he, like Elvis, finally left the building.

Things sure are weird nowadays. My first payment is due before I get the windows.

For the price I paid, I would think the windows should wash themselves.

I guess it's back to selling pencils until my windows are paid off.

Don't worry, I'll let you know the price of the pencil before you buy it.


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Gary Church
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