NEW CASTLE —
I made the fatal mistake of telling my wife that I didn't know what to blog about.
She said I could write about her exciting adventures as a 5-year-old child at the Taccoa Falls Bible College in Georgia.
I told her I would like to keep what readers I have.
If you want a room to empty out fast, just have my wife tell her childhood stories.
Being a little desperate, I asked, "What actually happened at Taccoa Falls?"
She said she was sitting on the porch of their cottage, and a mountain lion appeared.
Her dad was loading the car at the time, and saw it.
He instructed her to get into the house, and he said a little prayer.
He clapped his hands, and the lion went away.
I was sort of hoping the story ended with Eugene taming the lion, like Daniel did in the lion's den, but no such luck.
Just a clap, and it took off.
Try to remember this trick if you are ever confronted by a mountain lion in Georgia.
Her stories about lifting up stones and seeing rattlesnakes and black widow spiders underneath them would cure anyone’s insomnia.
A cure for that would be, don't lift up stones in Georgia.
But her big story was yet to come.
Get ready for this. It has a big ending.
Since restrooms were scarce in Georgia, her parents kept a little potty in the front seat of the car, in case of emergency.
She had such an emergency.
Her mother's way of getting rid of it was to throw it out the window.
Unfortunately, the couple in the back seat had their window down.
This is exciting stuff!
I bet there are a lot of little prayers going up right now, hoping that next week I won't have to ask my wife for any blog material.
That is, if any of you are still awake.
Gary Church
Gary Church: No lion, it’s potty time when my wife shares ideas
- Gary Church
-
-
Gary Church: A REAL buffet for Father’s Day? Now that’s saying a mouthful!
My favorite thing about Mother’s Day is the buffet. I can do some real damage with a nice spread of food laid out before me. A good, homemade buffet can't be beat.
-
Gary Church: A little trimmer is just the right fit for someone my age
There are definite signs in my life that show I'm really starting to age. I can't believe that I just bought a battery powered trimmer/edger. The gas trimmer I have now is 25 years old and very powerful.
-
Gary Church: Gary the Governor? It’s starting to grow on me
Every day, while walking home from West Side School, I would pass the fire station on Smithfield Street. Twice a year, the fire station turned into the election place, where my parents voted.
-
Gary Church: A Facebook friend request and the new ‘normal’
I recently received a friend request on Facebook from a woman named Robin. I wasn’t familiar with this person. Being a little skeptical, I wrote back and wanted to know why she picked me, when she didn't know me.
-
Gary Church: Neighbor’s ‘gift’ keeps on giving ... me fits!
When my neighbor Mike moved to Texas, I inherited a few of his things he didn't have room for. One of them was a very heavy cement bird bath.
-
Gary Church: It’s spring, so it’s time to come clean on all my junk
Last Monday started off normal. I shaved, showered, and shampooed as usual. We had breakfast and read the paper as we normally do.
-
Gary Church: Difficulty with Mexican food? Runs in the jeans ... er, genes
When we go to Sharon, I enjoy having lunch at Nikos and Lou's Coney Island. My wife finally put her foot down, and wanted to eat somewhere else for a change. She suggested Chipotle Mexican Grill.
-
Gary Church: What am I writing about today? I really don't know — really
I was surprised to read in a doctor’s column that the statin drugs I'm taking may cause memory loss. It's nice to know that it's not my fault that I can't remember things anymore. But it is getting a little scary.
-
Gary Church: Blindfolded taste-testers? Ha, what a bunch of weenies!
New Castle people are sure passionate about their hot dogs. If you ever want to get comments on your Facebook page, just bring up that subject.
-
Gary Church: Mocking my underwear? Hey, that’s below the belt!
It's a little rough on a guy when his family members are all fashion consultants. My wife and daughter both questioned me: "When did your underwear start showing above your belt?" I thought that was in vogue nowadays.
- More Gary Church Headlines
-



