New Castle News

December 6, 2013

Gary Church: Really? Mike Wells drinks milk in restaurants? Who nu nu?

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — My beverage of choice is ice cold milk.

How I miss the days when Spike Wallace, and later on Brad Wallace, would bring the milk right to the door, or put it directly in the refrigerator for us.

There was nothing better.

My number two beverage would be sweet tea.

Thank goodness it has finally become available to us northerners.

I am not a fan of carbonated beverages.

When I drink, it's because I'm thirsty and want to down as much fluid as possible — as quickly as possible.

When you're drinking carbonated beverages, that's not possible.

My nose gets all tingly.

When I was a kid, a hamburger and a milkshake was my standard meal.

Well, that's not exactly what I would order. I would ask for a hamburger and a "nu nu cow milk shake shake."  It was never a Coke or Pepsi.

It surprised me in church Sunday, when Mike Wells admitted he drinks milk in a restaurant.

He's a lot braver man than I am. I don't have the guts to order it in public.

I would love to sit down in a fancy restaurant and order a steak accompanied by six or seven glasses of chocolate milk. I just feel it would make me look unmanly, and take away my romantic charm.

That's the same reason that I don't use straws in restaurants, especially the ones that twist around and are shaped like a clown.

Since the price of beverages have gone sky high, I just order water with my meals.

Sometimes my wife lets me order a cup of coffee, which I am only allowed if she orders one, too.

I think I would order milk if they served it in a covered glass, so you couldn't see what I'm drinking.

The other problem with ordering milk is, it's not refillable.

I'm a growing boy and one glass is just not enough for me.

Now you see why I have an enlarged waist.

It's because I'm full of all that nu nu cows stuff.