New Castle News

July 26, 2013

Gary Church: I’ll write for food — but my wife probably won’t like it

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — Back when my wife was at Jameson Hospital, she had to work every other Sunday.

On the Sundays she was home, I cooked the roast, and she made the mashed potatoes and corn.

When she worked, I went out to eat with my friends from church.

About 10 years ago, she said, "I would like to go out and eat with the church friends sometime."

I obliged.

That was the last time I ever saw a Sunday home-cooked meal again.

It was amazing how quickly she adjusted to going out and eating on Sundays. It took her about eight seconds.

Last Sunday, we had the pleasure of dining at the Ladies of the Dukes.

When it came time for the waitress to give us the bill, she whispered in my ear, "The lady in the pink paid for your meal."

It would be nice to say this happens all the time, but it doesn't — ever!

I asked the waitress, "Did she say why?"

She replied, "No."

Then I whispered to her, "Do you feel that she thinks that I'm cute?"

The waitress replied, "I think she feels sorry for you."

My wife and I went over to Dolly to thank her.

When my wife asked her why she did such a nice thing, Dolly spilled the beans.

She said, "I feel sorry for you."

Perhaps she has read my weekly garden columns, where I may have mentioned once or twice, some of my wife's mishaps.

But since this worked for a free meal, did I ever tell you about the time we were at the Benedum, and she got up at the intermission to go to the ladies room?

She forgot that there was a step at the end of our row, and fell down in the aisle.

I did my usual thing and turned my head so no one would know I was with her.

She was much younger then. As she laid in the aisle, truly embarrassed, a kind gentleman helped her back up.

I would have helped her, but I might have been a little busy snickering in my seat.

Maybe that embarrassing story of her falling will be worth a couple of Coneys, just in case you ever run into us there.