New Castle News

Gary Church

July 3, 2012

Gary Church: You know, I’m gettin’ too old for this shift

NEW CASTLE — There was a time back in the 1960s that I almost got into a fight at Cascade Park, because some guy went out with my ex-girlfriend.

I remember it was on the hill going from the airplane rides to the dance hall, just up from the candy cotton place.

While visiting the park on Italian Day (I didn't tell anyone I wasn't Italian), it came time for me to walk up that same hill.

When did they make it longer and steeper?

I didn't think I was going to make it up.

I really felt old when a pregnant woman passed me up, while I was trying to get up that mountain.

They were giving shuttle rides for old people, but I was too proud to ask.

Another thing going is my appetite. It just isn't what it used to be.

The other night, I could only eat one and a half of the two steaks my wife made me for supper.

There were the days when I could wear out the carpet going back and forth to a buffet, but no more.

One time I actually caught myself looking at the senior portions on a restaurant menu.

There is no use in me watching the music awards. I don't recognize one song, nor anyone singing them.

Nowadays, having a good time means sitting on the patio watching the birds at the feeder.

One last thing. The word I use more often than any other is, "What?"

Other people mumbling is a sure sign that old age is setting in.

I find myself answering questions that weren't even asked.

I'm now waiting for the day when I start fastening my pants, right under my chest.

If you haven't noticed any of these signs yet, beware, they are coming.

 

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Do you talk to yourself when you're alone?

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