New Castle News

March 29, 2013

Gary Church: I’m a loser, all right, but my calories don’t count

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — Why, all of a sudden, is everyone posting recipes on Facebook?

Not only are they posting recipes, they are showing photos of the very tempting finished product.

None of the recipes seem to be for oatmeal or porridge.

I know you never noticed it, but I'm a tad overweight.

I try my best to avoid sweets so I can keep my hunk figure.

It's just that I have a minor problem with temptation.

Words like fudge, bacon wrapped, and creamy peanut butter seem to bring up some cravings deep inside me.

A few weeks ago, someone posted a photo of a peanut butter cake and icing along with the recipe.

The words peanut butter icing were more than I could bear.

I wrote out the recipe and gave it to my wife, hoping she would store it with all the other recipes she never uses.

She faked me out — and made the cake.

There are only two people living in this house to finish off eating the double layer cake.

Thank goodness no company showed up, so I didn’t have to share.

The only thing left for me to do was eat the whole cake.

There are a few things that I'm good at. Eating cake accompanied by a quart of milk is one of my finest talents.

Now I'm seeing more recipes with tempting names and photos. Strawberry Cream Cheese Cobbler, Chocolate Chip Gooey Butter Cake, and Bacon Wrapped Smokies with Brown Sugar and Butter. They are all calling my name.

If my wife ever makes all of these, I'm going to end up as a contestant on “The Biggest Loser.”

If so, don't bet on me to win.

Especially now that I've seen a recipe for Maple Glaze Bacon Wrapped Pork Loin.