NEW CASTLE —
I noticed the other day, when I opened my underwear drawer, there was only one T-shirt left.
The particular one that was left, I wear only on special occasions. Since it has a few designs on it from the last time I painted my house, that's the only time I wear it.
I had to put it on, with no intent of painting anything.
At the breakfast table I calmly asked my wife, "Is the washer broke?"
Wives get so defensive when you ask them stuff. All she had to answer was, "No!"
She went on a rampage about the T-shirts I hadn't opened yet from Christmas.
I was thinking of her. I was saving them in case Jockey ever went out of business. She would still be able to wrap them and give them to me as her usual Christmas gift.
Now I know what you ladies are thinking. "Why doesn't he wash his own underwear?"
I use to until I was told to stop. It seems the washer wasn't full enough when I washed only my underwear.
I would not include her underwear in my wash load.
The reason for this is, no man has that mystical knowledge of when a bra needs washed.
That is a gift God only gave to women.
Yes, I wash my own dress shirts. I want to be standing by the dryer when the bell goes off. I like to take the shirts out immediately so I don't have to iron them much.
Sometimes my wife likes to let the clothes age a little bit before taking them out.
As a rule, we split household chores. My chores are outside, hers are inside. It works best for us that way.
I'm a man. If she would ever say to me, "Is the mower broke," I would simply reply, "No, but I've been busy."
That always bring her usual reply: "Doing what?"
I guess I need to keep a log.
Gary Church
Gary Church: What’s in YOUR washer?
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Gary Church: Stop by and visit my gravesite — I’ll catch up with you later
When I worked at the greenhouse, I would go out of my way to please a customer. Sometimes, they would show their appreciation by bringing in a dozen donuts or a pie or two. One gift I received really caught me off guard.
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Gary Church: Where’s the clutch? And in a related matter, what’s a blog?
When starting a new job, it is customary to go through a training period. Unfortunately, when I started my first job at Welker’s Greenhouse, they did not practice this custom.
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Gary Church: I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t become a great guy overnight — really.
Learning to adapt has played a big role in my 37 years of successful marriage. At night, when my wife takes all of the covers and leaves me with only enough to cover half of my body, I adapt. I keep one half of my body warm for a while, then I roll over and get the other half warm.
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Gary Church: Hey, don’t blame me for ‘well done!’ I’m just agreeing with God
From time to time, my wife and I go out for a steak dinner. Actually, I get the steak, while she usually orders some kind of woman's food. I'm having a problem in restaurants. I don't know who to report this to, but I think I am being discriminated against.
The chefs of the world don't like us "well done" people. -
Gary Church: Wanna know a Mother’s Day secret? I was always the favorite
Mother's Day is coming up, so I thought I would give a little memory of my mom. I've heard my older brothers and sisters constantly say that I was spoiled. They say the reason for this was, I was born one month after my brother Jimmy was killed in France during World War II.
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In my childhood, I was the token Protestant in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. All the kids I played with went to St. Mary Church and School. I was glad about this because of the horror stories they had about how strict the priests and nuns were.
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Gary Church: I’ve learned that saying goodbye is quite a moving experience
I didn't know I would have so much responsibility when I retired. The moving van came to move my neighbor, Mike, to Corpus Christi, Texas. The movers were very lucky that I was there to supervise. We got everything on. Well, almost everything.
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Gary Church: Yeah, this gift card’s for the birds — and I don’t wanna hear a peep!
I was a little shocked when I received a phone call from an Amishman. He wanted to tell me that I had won a door prize at the Home Builders Show. Being the excitable person that I am, I drove straight to the Cathedral to pick it up, whatever it was.
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Gary Church: Just because the Amish use cell phones doesn’t mean I need one
People are starting to call me an antique, because I don't have a cell phone. If I had a cell phone, I don't have a clue who I would talk to. I doubt if I call someone once a month. So why should I get a cell phone?
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Gary Church: Coconut? Really? Don’t even get me started!
I have been taught that it is not good to hate. For this reason, I have narrowed the list of things I hate down to just one. I do have several things on my “dislikes list,” though.
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