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Gary Church

January 24, 2012

Gary Church: What’s in YOUR washer?

NEW CASTLE — I noticed the other day, when I opened my underwear drawer, there was only one T-shirt left.

The particular one that was left, I wear only on special occasions. Since it has a few designs on it from the last time I painted my house, that's the only time I wear it.

I had to put it on, with no intent of painting anything.

At the breakfast table I calmly asked my wife, "Is the washer broke?"

Wives get so defensive when you ask them stuff. All she had to answer was, "No!"

She went on a rampage about the T-shirts I hadn't opened yet from Christmas.

I was thinking of her. I was saving them in case Jockey ever went out of business. She would still be able to wrap them and give them to me as her usual Christmas gift.

Now I know what you ladies are thinking. "Why doesn't he wash his own underwear?"

I use to until I was told to stop. It seems the washer wasn't full enough when I washed only my underwear.

I would not include her underwear in my wash load.

The reason for this is, no man has that mystical knowledge of when a bra needs washed.

That is a gift God only gave to women.

Yes, I wash my own dress shirts. I want to be standing by the dryer when the bell goes off. I like to take the shirts out immediately so I don't have to iron them much.

Sometimes my wife likes to let the clothes age a little bit before taking them out.

As a rule, we split household chores. My chores are outside, hers are inside. It works best for us that way.

I'm a man. If she would ever say to me, "Is the mower broke," I would simply reply, "No, but I've been busy."

That always bring her usual reply: "Doing what?"

I guess I need to keep a log.

 

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