NEW CASTLE —
I'm sick of being sick!
It has been over a week now fighting this ungodly pestilence that has settled in my body. Despite my best efforts, this plague has taken a firm hold of every avenue of my being. It has become the most constant and present force in my life.
As much as I talk to it and try to coax if out of its evil lair, there is no winning against this despicable and vile epidemic that has infiltrated my humble body.
It all started simply enough. On Monday of last week I felt just blah and tired. You know, like a bad case of the Mondays. I went to work and pushed through with an ever-present hint of a headache and all-over feeling of not wanting to do anything nor really caring if anything got done.
As Tuesday came to life, it was quickly apparent that it was to be an exaggerated version of Monday. The headache was no longer hinting at its existence, but rather flying its flag high, announcing its arrival and staking its claim in this new-found land. The listlessness also grew to mountainous proportions. To say I would have been content to sit in a chair and stare at the wall would have been an understatement.
On Wednesday the symptoms seemed to be waning a bit, and I thought I was out of the woods. Oh, how wrong I was! What was a simple pushing match between myself and this illness, soon became a battle for dominance in my body. After work, I plopped down on the couch and began my slippery slide to becoming a member of the walking dead. The only problem is that I was still cogent of my degraded condition. The brainless motions of the zombies would have been much more pleasing than alternating between extreme shivering and sweating buckets.
Every single joint in my body hurt. To move even a finger took extra effort and thought. To stand up and move across the room was a lesson in endurance and humility.
My temperature was bouncing around 103 degrees and then suddenly it would drop the normal range, then back up again. One time it actually dropped down to 97.5, which baffled me even more.
My body was raging some incredible war inside of me. Copious amounts of drugs, hot showers, cold showers, and vitamins had only minimal effects on this alien intruder from the depths of Hades.
I called off “dead” from work on Thursday and slept the day away. I ate very little and forced myself to drink lots of water. Water which would soon be turned into sweat and deposited with the rest on my soaking-wet pillows.
Then came Friday morning and my wife nudged me and asked if I was going to work. I quickly did a self-assessment and decided that I could do this. Big mistake!
The day started out great. I actually felt better than I had in a long time. I told my story of woe to my co-workers and explained how great I felt. Before long, my situation diminished greatly. Like a great coaster on the top a death-defying hill, I quickly plunged back into the misery that had been my past few days. Only this time, I was lucky enough to be in even more pain.
I spent the remainder of Friday and the whole of Saturday doing absolutely nothing. Fading in and out of sleep as beads of sweat ran down the back of my neck and shivers kept me bundled in several layers of blankets.
It’s been another four days, and here I sit on a late Wednesday night with an ice pack on my head, Gatorade in my hand, and a thick winter blanket at my side for the next time my body flip-flops its temperature range.
I'm getting better ... slowly. There are fleeting moments of almost feeling human again. I have begun to gauge my relation to the rest of the world in percentages. Today was perhaps the best day at around 75 percent of normal operating ability, but on this evening I have downgraded myself to no more than 60 percent.
Looking back, I would have to measure a couple of those past days around the 15 to 20 percent mark.
Maybe tomorrow will be 100 percent ... I mean tomorrow is GOING TO BE 100 percent. I can feel it and know that I will finally be able to shed this shroud of sickness for good.
If not, I might try the vodka and tequila method and drown it out!
NEW CASTLE —
I'm sick of being sick!
- Josh Drespling
Josh Drespling: The quest for antifreeze and horseradish in the land of Wally World
I was on a undeniable quest for horseradish and antifreeze. My auto had taken a turn for the worse as would be expected from any General Motors product of its age. This poor girl has 150,000 miles on her tired bolts and joints.
Josh Drespling: After first pitch is thrown, it’s a whole different ballgame for men, women
Hidden in the similarities is the vast expanse of differences. Despite the commonality of their emotions, bodies, and habitats, there lies a vast array of infinite deviations in form and function. Such is the relationship between men and women.
Josh Drespling: If it’s your property, is it your cross to bear?
There is a new house being built along one of the roads I travel every day on my way to and from work. It looks like it is going to be a very nice house. It has a beautiful brick exterior, three-car garage, and the back looks like it is open to an expansive wooded area. Prime spot for a nice, big deck, in my opinion.
Josh Drespling: Great ... now I’m the one who’s old, bald and fat
Many, many moons ago when I was but a wee lad, my friends and I made fun of some people. This mostly happened at church, of all places.
Josh Drespling: Daughter’s superhero is man of steal
I've stumbled across yet another conundrum in my life — I am a thief. It's not every day that you can make such a stark discovery about yourself, but when you have the innocence of a 7-year-old child relaying this information to you, you are best advised to take heed.
Josh Drespling: Despite what ‘they’ say, I’ll take my idols any day
“They,” in their infinite wisdom, say to never meet your heroes. “They” say that you will be greatly disappointed with the stark and complete reality of said person.
Josh Drespling: What if you could travel back in time?
Have you ever encountered a point in your life where you dreamed about having the ability to travel in time? Whether it be in a clunky machine filled with levers, whistles, and buttons or something sleek, the concept is remains the same.
Josh Drespling: Winter offers some cool, compelling reasons to stick around
Don’t hate me because I'm beautiful. Though I am powerful and unpredictable, I have unjustly received a bad reputation over the course of time.
Josh Drespling: That great idea? Aw, maybe I’ll just sleep on it
I will do it tomorrow. How many times have you laid in bed, snuggled up with that warm, fuzzy blanket and your head resting on the cold side of the pillow when an amazing, perhaps earth-shattering thought pounces to the forefront of your mind?
Josh Drespling: If you can’t take the heat — get outta my car!
I've found that my body really can't tell the difference between 4 degrees above zero and 10 below. You may wonder how I know such a weird fact about myself. It is quite simple. The heater in my car has not worked since late last spring.
- More Josh Drespling Headlines
- Josh Drespling: The quest for antifreeze and horseradish in the land of Wally World