New Castle News

Josh Drespling

June 28, 2014

Josh Drespling: Now here’s a dry idea — no rain, my gain

NEW CASTLE — Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day.

Preferably someday when I’m stuck at work and have no need or desire to go outside. A day when I am shackled to my desk, my computer, and office equipment. A day that I can only imagine how bright and cheery the world outside is while I’m willfully and infinity buried in “important” tasks.

I know you are an important part of our climate and ecosystem. You make these wild and fanatical claims to be nearly as important as the life-giving sun, but could you peddle your self-edifying propaganda some other day? I have work to do, errands to run, and a lawn to mow.

You can bring all your fury and might on a day that my car needs to be washed. Dowse our land with your life-giving moisture on your time, not mine. I have my Google calendar posted for all to see. If you had the least bit of common courtesy, you would check it before you come rolling in expecting everybody to be excited to see you. And another thing, do you always have to bring your entourage of flashy and grumbling friends? They startle me.

You come poking your ugly, wet head around my little part of the world without warning. You fill the creeks and rivers to capacity and beyond. I'm sure you have some contrived explanation of how it’s not your fault and it’s somehow the fault of deforestation or the lack of wetlands. Just like it’s not your fault that all your wetness came pouring into my open car window the other night.

Could you spread your aura of dampness, depression, and laziness on a day that I don’t intend on enjoying our glorious Earth? A day when your constant foe, the sun, has filled our life with its warming glow for days and weeks upon end prior to your visit.

Why can't you be more like our humble and powerful sun? It is predictable and constant. We don't need a meteorologist to tell us if the sun is going to rise each and every day. No, we just need one to tell us when you feel it’s appropriate to push your way to the front, block our heat source, and make yourself feel oh, so important.

This relationship is not healthy, and I need to distance myself from you. Can you and I just be a friendly acquaintance? Agree to disagree, so-to-speak? May we pass each other politely and acknowledge each other's existence, but never get in each other's way? Maybe it’s better if we arrange some type of long distance relationship or, perhaps, just be pen pals? I'm not trying to push you away. It's just that you have been smothering me these last few weeks and I need a break. I just need my space.

It's not you, it's me.

I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

I really feel we need to see other weather types.

You understand, don’t you?


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Josh Drespling
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