The other morning my wife told our 10-year-old daughter, Emma, that because her school was holding its annual track meet, Emma needed to take a extra sweatshirt and a pair of sweat pants to school with her.

“You might get cold,” is what my wife said.

Emma said she would and then returned her full attention to a “Saved by the Bell” rerun. I think it was the one where Screech did something stupid. Or maybe it was the one where Zack did something sort of sneaky. Anyway, as a veteran parent, I was pretty sure that Emma was going to forget to take a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sweat pants. Call it a hunch.

My wife had the same hunch, so she made Emma divert her attention from the “Saved by the Bell” rerun long enough to go upstairs and get a sweatshirt and a pair of sweat pants.

Later, my wife walked through the kitchen and gently reminded Emma not to forget the sweatshirt and sweat pants.

“Yes, Mother,” Emma said in response to my wife’s gentle reminder.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sometimes I kill myself.

Here’s how the conversation between Emma and my wife actually went:

Wife: Emma, don’t forget your sweatshirt and sweat pants. (Silence) EMMA! (More silence) EMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA!!!

Emma: WHAT!!!

Wife: I SAID DON’T FORGET YOUR SWEATSHIRT AND SWEAT PANTS.

Emma: I WON’T. GOSH!!!!

Later, after I dropped Emma off at school and was walking into our house, our phone rang.

Me: Hello.

Emma: Dad. It’s me, Emma.