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March 26, 2013

Kali Davies-Anderson: Ready or not, we’ve got another child on the way

NEW CASTLE — After what will presumably be almost 20 months of being a mom of one, I will be giving birth to my second child.

That is, if you do not count my husband who, on most days could be considered a dependent. But that’s another blog for another day.

When I found out I was pregnant with this child, most people reacted with surprise, disbelief and mild horror. I suppose it had been only nine months since my daughter Violet was born, but we wanted them “close together” as the saying goes, and as it would turn out, we got what we wished for!

So, here I am, almost in my ninth month of my second pregnancy.

When I was pregnant with Violet, I worried incessantly about how my cats would react to the addition to the household. Looking back now, that worry seems so silly, as now I have to worry about my often temperamental and attention seeking toddler, winding up and laying the proverbial “smack down” on her new brother or sister.

I also wonder how I will manage to go anywhere ever again. I took Violet to Wal-Mart recently and the 35-minute trip yielded several items that I hadn’t planned on purchasing, one of which was a 3-foot high stuffed yellow duck with a patch of white wiry hair, which is now serving as a manger of fuzz on my living room floor.

Yes, having a child changes your life forever, but child(ren)? Now, the thought of that is almost as frightening as my current posterior reflection in a full-length mirror. You would think that after being raised in a household with four younger sisters I would be more than ready to tackle a second child. However, I can now say with true confidence that even the most wicked actions toward me by one of my devious siblings was NOTHING compared to handling a toddler with one goal in mind: GETTING HER OWN WAY, EVERY DAY, FOR EVERYTHING.

It might be something as minute as wanting crayons from the cupboard or as earth-shattering as resisting my arduous attempts at removing yogurt from her eyelashes with a wet rag. Whatever the scenario may be, I have learned one very valuable lesson: I AM NOT AS SNEAKY AS I THINK I AM.

Every parent or care-giver knows that the key to removing an object from the grasp of a toddler is to distract them with something else, right? And we do this by flailing said distraction in front of toddler while ever so gently sliding contraband object from their tiny, weakling grasp. However, this is a mere impossibility when faced with the reality that toddlers can and will clench their fists tighter than a Venus fly trap, even when distracted by gold, diamonds and chocolate cookies, making the task of removing the object nearly impossible.

If, by some chance, one is skillful enough to remove the object, it’s a moot point anyway, because unless you are able to dematerialize whatever it is you have removed, you have a better chance at landing a dinner date with your celebrity crush than making it out of the room alive.

As I reflect on this important lesson, I wonder what it will be like to have two children to trick into doing things my way. But, as I embark on the last five weeks of my pregnancy I have come to the realization that whether or not I feel prepared, this baby is coming.

Maybe David Copperfield is available to give me some pointers.

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