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January 28, 2014

Kali Davies-Anderson: The only thing better than ‘American Idol?’ Bacon!

NEW CASTLE — “American Idol” is now in its 12th season. I have been a fan ever since a vat of colorful congratulatory confetti doused Kelly Clarkson in the spring of 2002.

Having always had dreams of being on the show, I auditioned for the first time in 2003 and was cut. I then auditioned in 2008 and was cut again, followed by 2011 at which I was once again … cut.

I would have to say, however, that my audition experience in 2011 is probably the most memorable for a couple of reasons — I sang with my sisters and I was nearly 8 months pregnant.

Yes, you read that correctly. I auditioned for “American Idol,” at Heinz Field, in JULY while 8 months pregnant.

The morning of the audition my sisters and I piled into my car and headed for Pittsburgh. It was around 5 a.m. and we were dressed in full hair and make-up.

As we approached the large crowd I began to feel somewhat nauseous. Was it nerves or was it my unborn child shifting inside of me? I’ll never know for sure, but either way I knew it would be a long day.

Finally reaching the back of the line, which was literally a mile from the front of the line, we plopped down and began the “camping out” process of the Idol audition.

I felt like people were staring at me and wondering what on earth compelled me to spend any part of my eighth month of pregnancy sitting on the ground in the parking lot of a football stadium. I felt like this until I noticed the 50-some odd others who were equally as pregnant. Seeing other pregnant women kind of annoyed me. I had hoped to be the only one.

While waiting in line my sisters and I had between seven and 10 major arguments that at any moment could have led to some kind of homicide attempt. These arguments were only briefly interrupted by a local radio station requesting an interview with the “four” of us.

During the interview the host joked that the baby I was carrying was Idol judge Steven Tyler’s. This was mildly humorous to those around us. Then we sang our audition song and I am pretty sure all three of us were in different keys.

The spontaneous key changes led to another argument and I think the youngest of the three of us spent the next seven to eight hours threatening that she wasn’t going to sing at all during the audition.

Eleven bottles of water later it was almost our turn to sing. As we walked the perimeter of the field and up to the table of judges situated in the end zone I looked down at my legs and feet, which now resembled 10 slightly undersized bratwursts.

It was then that I realized that the day was almost over, and whatever the outcome, I would be grateful for that.

As we stepped forward and belted out our best rendition of “Edge of Glory,” the stoic judge swiftly informed us that we were “just not what they were looking for” and we were whisked away to the bad girl line where our audition wrist bands were cut off of our sunburned arms.

I waddled to the nearest restaurant and grabbed the closest bottle of water and sandwich I could find. I guess one benefit of spending 12 hours in the sun for a 60-second audition when you are eight months pregnant is that even as your singing career is swept out from under your swollen, sausage-ike feet, the only thing you can think about it your next meal.

I may not have made it on “American Idol,” but I had the best BLT sandwich I have ever eaten.

Top that, Ryan Seacrest.

 

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