NEW CASTLE —
Dear Dave: I recently got engaged. Is it okay for us to go ahead and combine finances and start working on a budget before we get married? — Adam
Dear Adam: No, it is not OK to combine finances with anyone to whom you’re not married. And by “OK,” I mean wise. I’m happy that you’ve found love, but all kinds of things can happen before the rings are slipped onto your fingers. I’m not wishing bad things on you, but what if you spend time paying off her debt, or vice versa, and then the relationship doesn’t work out? Bringing finances into that kind of situation is just asking for trouble. You do not want to go there! Now, all this doesn’t mean that you can’t begin working together on budgets for the future and goals for your lives. We’re talking about full disclosure to make this happen. She knows all about your income and debts, and you know about hers, too. You guys need to have some serious discussions about saving, spending and debt, and get on the same page with your finances before the big day. But no, my advice is that you each pay your own bills until after you’re married. Once that happens, there’s no “yours” and “mine” anymore. It all becomes “ours.” — Dave
Dear Dave: I just turned 57 and have been researching long-term care policies. Is there a point where you can self-insure for long-term care needs without a policy? — Peter
Dear Peter: Mathematically, I’d say you could safely self-insure if you have the resources available to support your care in a nursing home or other facility for 25 years. Of course, if you’re married you have to think about your spouse and make sure she has enough to live on comfortably at the same time. That’s a lot of money. In my mind, it’s a large enough bill that it makes sense to transfer the risk to a long-term care insurance policy.
The simple truth is most people won’t have enough money to self-insure for that kind of thing when the time comes. If you have $20 million liquid sitting around, then you could easily set aside $2 to $3 million for long-term care and still be in great shape. But I advise virtually everyone to have good, long-term care coverage in place by age 60. For many folks, it can make the difference between living with dignity and having to depend on the government. And that’s not something I ever want to do for anything — especially not my healthcare! — Dave
Dear Dave: I graduated from college in May with $20,000 in student loans and have been working an hourly job on my dad’s farm until something opens up in my area. My sister is getting married soon in Mexico, and it would cost me about $2,000 to attend. Do you think I should go? — Phil
Dear Phil: I understand about family, and I think you should be at your sister’s wedding. But on the other hand, it’s a little ridiculous to expect an hourly wage farm worker to travel to Mexico for a destination wedding. The first thing I’d do is shop around for lower airfare. Financially speaking, that’s going to be a big chunk of this, and I’m pretty sure you can find cheaper prices. It wouldn’t hurt to ask mom and dad for a little help, either. They may even be willing to foot the bill. You’ve got a bunch of debt and not a lot of income right now. On top of it all, you’ve had this trip dropped in your lap. But start out by telling your dad that you’re willing to try and pay for this, and ask him, too, if there’s any way you can make some extra money at your job. A family should be together to celebrate an occasion like this, and I bet he’ll be willing to help you out! — Dave
(Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.)
All About You ...
Related Photos
-
For years Dave Ramsey has been the host of the popular ‘Dave Ramsey Show’ on radio stations across the nation. Now, his financial advice column is carried by more than 300 publications. It will appear each Friday on The News website.
Discussion
Dave Ramsey: Not ready to combine finances
- All About You ...
-
-
Culinary Conversation: A day in France— or close to it
Here’s some advice: If your spouse packs your lunch, never complain about the contents. I wasn’t actually griping. I just noted that it lacked excitement. The response from spouse was — our kitchen isn’t the Ritz Carlton.
-
Dave Ramsey: Avoid college loans if you can
“Dave Says" is a weekly column featuring financial advice from nationally syndicated radio host Dave Ramsey. His column is filled with timely, relevant questions and answers taken from actual letters and calls on Ramsey's radio program, “The Dave Ramsey Show.”
-
Lori Brothers: Be ready to stay healthy during storms
At any time during the spring and summer, we may get a signal from our local officials that there is inclement weather that can turn threatening. It is always important to pay attention during alerts to assure that your family, including your pets, are safe in the event of an emergency such as tornado, flood or power outage.
-
Sarah Stright-Hartley: Looking for stylish way to pack your possessions? It’s in the bag
One of the most personal things a woman buys is a handbag. It holds all of her prized possessions. So when shopping for a new bag, there are a lot of things to consider. Size, color, quality, fabric and length of use. Is she looking for something to use year round, or something that can be changed each season?
-
Kali Davies-Anderson: I’m now a year older — and a lot wiser
On May 7, I turned 28 years old. I understand this is still considered “young,” but I feel as though I have lived many lives in my 28 years. And in those many “lives” I have learned vast and various lessons.
-
Making a Difference: Custodian makes clean sweep of kids’ hearts
When Croton Pre-Kindergarten Center students recess for summer vacation next month, “Mr. Pete” will walk out the door with them. And it will be for the last time.
-
Culinary Conversation: 25 easy treats to make for Mom on Mother’s Day
The sweetest person you know deserves something equally sugary on Sunday. That would be your mother and the occasion is Mother’s Day. A luxurious brunch and a vase full of tulips are perfectly acceptable, and so is breakfast in bed, especially when big hands help little hands and someone (not her!) cleans the kitchen.
-
Dave Ramsey: How do mutual funds work?
“Dave Says" is a weekly column featuring financial advice from nationally syndicated radio host Dave Ramsey. His column is filled with timely, relevant questions and answers taken from actual letters and calls on Ramsey's radio program, “The Dave Ramsey Show.”
-
Lori Brothers: Walking tall is good for the body
Do you have neck soreness, back pain, or other posture problems? Maybe it’s time to take a new stance about your health and well-being. May is National Correct Posture Month.
-
Sarah Stright-Hartley: Want to add some zing for spring? Go ‘bloom’ yourself!
It's spring, it's spring! It finally feels like spring! Maybe I shouldn't say that too loudly, I don't want to scare it off. Anyway, one of the best parts of spring is seeing all of the pretty flowers popping up around the area.
- More All About You ... Headlines
-
